What Does It Mean to Be "Ready"? : Meditations on Readiness & Sankofa

What does it truly mean when we say that we are “ready”? 

“Ready” to find love. 

“Ready” to have a baby and become a parent.

“Ready” to build a business. 

“Ready” to heal.

So often I am asked in tarot readings and consultations…”where is the one?” 

I don’t ever want to play into the belief that you have to love yourself in order to be loved in a romantic sense. I truly don’t believe that to be true. What I do offer as a question though is…what would it mean for God/Creator/whatever higher spiritual power you believe in to be that “one”? What if we focus on expansion in community, rather that connection with just one?

What is our relationship to oneness, to ourselves…to healing and by extension to health? 

Everything that we are conditioned with tells us that we must “do”  life in this particular order:

Birth, School, College, Job, Marriage, Kids, Retire, Die. 

But for so many of us, that simply isn’t our flow! We have all kinds of fruitful and heart filled explorations on our journey of living life and each one, like a snowflake is ingenious in its own perfect patterning. So why would love and building community be any different? 

What really does it mean to be “Ready” to do anything in this life? We may think that we’ve developed all the tools, the vulnerability, the communication strategies, the will-power and yet if we haven’t the community to lean on or the softness of heart to truly acknowledge our behavior in the moment…are we really “ready”? Life and everything in it is a continual test. The only way that we don’t win is if we don’t show up. Even when we seemingly “lose”, there is always a lesson to take away and grow with.

In this work that I find myself dedicated to, the work of birth and body healing, I talk a lot about reclaiming a sense of self with intentionality and routine. As a doula and birthworker, i often ask: What does it look like to dedicate time even as a parent to your peace? What does it mean to spend intentional time calling in a new spirit to be guided in such a self aware and awakened manner such as parenthood? To me, it isn’t so much about knowing the distinct rituals that my ancestors engaged in, although trust me, I’m at work on that and have been at work on that for some time. Having studied ritual, I can tell you that however you show up can be accepted by the Divine as long as your heart is open and respect is what you lead with. What is truly astounding in reclamation work is the willingness. What is your willingness to practice “Sankofa”? Meaning that we go back and fetch what was lost with intention and sovereignty within ourselves knowing that it will be passed down from generation to generation continuing on as we rebuild and remember our connection to Earth. 

I found myself a couple of weeks ago within a sacred community of Black women…all Goddesses in our own right, challenging the cultural norms of what it means to be well…us. In this group, I knew that I came armored, because there have been so many times in my life when I softened only to be painfully ridiculed and I can never really tell what is a “safe space” even with my own crew of Goddesses. It may be a painful truth to admit, but it is my truth nonetheless. My guarding wound up hurting a sister and I am still having trouble forgiving myself for that. You see, we may do all the things “right” to prevent harm and still we may cause harm. There is no one way to avoid the reality of  being human in this world. We fall, we fly, we learn to surrender to the abundance around us. 

My practice is strong but not yet completely solidified and I’m aware of that as my responsibility to my own healing practice. I have to delve deeper into that timing of holding myself fully accountable and being truly honest about what it is that I really and truly desire. If I really and truly desire to step into my wholeness of my relationship between myself and God, then I truly have to be honest about what I’m doing each and every day to build that relationship. 

Maybe the truth is that none of us are truly “ready” and we all just become more of ourselves as we branch into what living really is on this plane and planet. 

So I leave you with this:

What is it that you are “Ready” for and what will you have to leave behind as you move into this new iteration of you?